I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
