Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
