Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
