i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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