Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
