I must be too annoying 4 u.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
