are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
