Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
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