Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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