it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
