the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
