he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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