she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
