If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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