I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
