We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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