wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
