Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
