idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
