I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
