One girl and one boy is just not enough.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
