What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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