this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
