Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just gargled with NyQuil
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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