so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
