The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
