i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
