if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
