New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Randomize
