It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
