Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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