i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
