God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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