I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
