covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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