so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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