FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I need water and some morals
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
