guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
