So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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