Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Randomize
