Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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