I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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