Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
