I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
