at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
