Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
