id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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