So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
this boner is exhausting
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
