Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
