I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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