He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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