So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
